


Sam Wilson Nocturne

by birdlight



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Genre: Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Male Friendship, Sam Wilson Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-30 21:02:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21146579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdlight/pseuds/birdlight
Summary: Riley's death still haunts Sam Wilson, and Bucky is there to listen.





	Sam Wilson Nocturne

“Riley,” Sam said. 

Bucky raised his head, waking up alert and ready to fight the way Hydra had trained him. He surveyed the surrounding area. Creatures of the night called to each other from outside the open window, but everything else about the area was quiet. A false alarm. Probably a barking dog. He started to settle back down when he realized he’d heard no disparaging remarks from Sam. His eyes adjusted to the dark. Sam was supposed to be standing watch. He and Bucky had argued about it a few hours before, Bucky insisting it should be him because he needed less sleep, but Sam overruled him. What he saw now shocked him. Sam, asleep, in a sitting position, his back against the wall. Sam Wilson didn't neglect his duty. Bucky took a moment to get up and look out the window. They were on a hill, with a clear view of a house on a lower street. The house where the arms dealers supposedly met. He could see no signs of activity there. 

“Riley!” Sam said, louder this time. “Pull your chute! Your chute!” 

Bucky knelt down beside him, unsure of what to do. Sam struggled in his sleep, his arms reaching out. His actions mesmerized Bucky. He had seen this a little, with Steve, but had never witnessed Sam having a bad dream.

“Damn it! Don’t worry, I’ve got you…” Sam’s voice increased in volume and now Bucky had no choice. Much more of this would give their position away. 

He reached out and took his arm, giving him a gentle shake. “Sam,” he said, his whisper was as loud as he could manage.

The flailing got worse, but at least now he was silent. 

“Sam!” He spoke a little louder to give himself a tone of authority. “Wake up!”

“I’m sorry, man, I’m sorry.” He was crying. Buckley pulled back, startled. He never saw the wise-cracking always in control Sam Wilson in such a state. Another muffled cry brought him back to the present reality. He had to wake him up.

Another hard shake, and this time Sam woke up, pitching forward as if he was about to take a downward spiral. His face registered confusion, his eyes focused and traveled down to Bucky’s silver arm, that held onto him, then their eyes met. They stayed that way for a long time until Sam pulled away.

“I fell asleep,” he said, standing up. “That was stupid.”

“Yeah, it was,” Bucky said. “I told you, I should have taken first watch.” He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t tell him to go back to sleep, he knew from experience the nightmares might come back, but he didn’t know if he wanted to talk about it. Some people refused to, he didn’t for a long time. Maybe he should ignore everything for now.

“Any activity below?” Sam asked.

“No, all’s quiet. This might be a false lead.” Bucky said. Another long, uncomfortable silence.

“You don’t have to pretend it didn’t happen,” Sam said, breaking the tension. “What did I say?” Just like Sam to hit the issue head-on.

“Something about Riley, about not being able to get to him.”

“Damn.” He let out a loud sigh. “This hasn’t happened for a long time,” he said and then let out a short laugh. “I don’t know what brought it on. I never do. It’s ok if you think my trauma is small potatoes compared to your lifetime of…”

“It’s not a contest,” Bucky said abruptly. “It’s ok. Pain is pain.” He knew about Riley, but he felt a stab of guilt as he realized he never spared a moment of compassion for Sam because he acted like he didn’t need it.

“Well, you would know,” Sam said, but he wasn’t being sarcastic. 

“You never talk about it,” Bucky said.

“I was like everyone else, for a long time, be strong, hold it in, but that didn’t work, and so I talked and talked and I thought I’d talked it out, but it never really goes away.”

“I know,” Bucky said, “I mean you’ve never really talked about it... with me.”

“You seriously want to listen to this?” Sam asked. Now his tone was sarcastic.

“Well, something brought it on, if talking it out helps why not? We’re stuck here, and you know all about me. We’ll stand watch together. So how did you two meet?” Bucky asked. He walked over to the window to look out at their target. Still quiet.

“First day of training, except we didn’t know it was training. We’d all volunteered for a special unit, and they paired us up, made us do these exercises, ran the obstacle course, trust missions, alternating teams, just to see which duo worked best, and me and Riley, just hit it off, the same way I did with Cap. So they put us together.”

“How many missions?” Bucky asked, his eyes went upward to the night sky as he imagined Sam and Riley, friends together, up there, doing the almost impossible.

“Twenty,” Sam said. “Twenty missions of swooping in, saving lives, having each other’s backs. You should have seen the looks on their faces the first time we answered a call in the field. Some thought we were a joke, but when they realized we could get into places other medics couldn’t, they stopped laughing.”

“Sounds like fun."

"We weren't' out there to have fun, but we did. Sometimes, we'd just strap on the packs and take off when nothing was happening. It was like joyriding in a plane. We weren't supposed to, but we did."

"The first time I saw you wearing your wings, you knocked me over,” Bucky said. “ Remember that? I didn't know what the hell you were. Lucky for you, I don’t hold grudges.”

“Good thing,” Sam said. “I would have given up right then if it wasn’t for Steve. He believed in you. I didn’t have a choice.”

“Yeah, you did,” Bucky said, not looking at him. He was glad it was dark. All this openness and honesty was a good thing, but he didn’t know how to deal with the emotional fallout. He didn’t want Sam to see his face. A light appeared in the house's window below. “I see activity!” he reported. 

Sam walked over to see for himself. “Looks like the reports were credible after all.” Bucky heard him on the other side of the room and recognized the familiar sound of him putting the Shield in place. “You ready?”

“Right behind you, Cap,” Bucky said, opening the door and allowing Sam to go first “And for the record, if you want to talk about it again, and finish the story, I’m here,” he said. He didn’t know why he said that. He wasn't a therapist, but now that Sam was sharing his life with him, he wanted to know more.

Sam turned around and gave him his famous half-smile. “I know,” he said. He turned away to focus on the mission. “And don’t call me that!”

Bucky smiled to himself as he followed him into the night.


End file.
